“We Need to Talk…”

Employee engagement and maintaining a happy team is easy when things are going well.  But how do you balance the need to refocus an individual or curtail behavior that is detrimental to the team’s goals?

Having the hard conversation is never easy.  Particularly if you tend to easily empathize with people’s feelings.  Obviously, different situations and personalities will dictate different tacks, but a few thoughts that I’ve had better than average success with:

1. Build a foundation of openness. Start the conversation before you ever need to have the conversation.  Having a relationship with everyone on the team is vital.  That relationship should acknowledge the goals of each person and recognize the differences in each.  Doing this will make it easier to frame the issue in a way that is recognized as being in the employee’s self-interest rather than the company’s interest.   Note: This happens from day 1 of meeting, not day 1 of recognizing an issue.
2. Create a two-way street. Accept feedback from your team all the time.  Make it known repeatedly that if there is something you are (or aren’t) doing that is making work more difficult to accomplish or if they are not responding to what you’re doing to tell you.  Your door is always open.  You work for them after all.  Most of all, listen when they have the guts to speak up, email or leave an anonymous note on your desk.
3. Start by asking their view of the situation (and listen…again). Take the time to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand what’s behind the unwanted behavior.  Acknowledge how they are feeling when you present how you view the situation.
4. Evolve the solution. The problem now has two-sides.  The solution you thought was perfect now is half perfect.  Ask the employee for how they would solve this – they’ve given their side of the problem far more thought than you.  Use it and/or evolve it and then incorporate it into the solution that works for you.
5. Agree on action items. Start with the things you’re going to do to help the situation.  Then ask the employee what s/he is willing to commit to in order to solve your side of the problem.  Write them down. Give each a copy and refer back to it often.
6. Check back. One talk isn’t going to make everything magically better.  Keep revisiting the problem on a regular basis.  And better yet, email or talk to the employee as you start to tick off your side of the list.  Show them you take your responsibility seriously.  But, be perceptive to their feelings as you move down the list.  Make sure your actions are doing enough to squash the issue.

It may not be all your fault, but start with that approach.  It’s easier to talk to open ears and minds if you don’t come out guns blazing.

What am I missing?  What has worked for you?

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